


Forget me never

by phoenixwritings



Series: You taught me the courage of the stars [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, Separations, and complete heartbreak, basically idk what to tag this as it's just sad as fuck, tbh it is mostly just
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 09:17:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13877832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwritings/pseuds/phoenixwritings
Summary: Selfishly, he wished to stay in that moment, to have Sehun blissfully vulnerable and true to himself, entirely to himself.





	Forget me never

**Author's Note:**

> i've been sick with the flu and it killed my muse to write anything remotely good and then i was suggested by a friend to write an angsty story based off a very similar romance / relationship i had, and, well, this is what happened. just heartbreak with some flashbacks.

Moonlight poured in through the open window, spilling over the sil and through the white curtains that were dancing in the wind; casting a iridescent glow upon the body against his, warm and secure arms holding him close like he might just slip away at any given second.  _ He felt like he could _ . He no longer knew what time it was, or how long he had been lying awake. It had to have been nearing sunrise, he knew, because the cicadas were singing their songs in the trees and his body ached and he felt more exhausted than he had in so long. 

 

‘ _ Forget about tomorrow, remember tonight _ .’ Sehun soothingly said, taking Junmyeon’s hands into his own and pulling the man’s smaller body between his legs from where he sat atop of the counter. There was a weight to his words that clung to the air, leaving the older male left with a sickly feeling that attached itself to his sternum and wouldn’t let go.  ‘ _ Love me right now, love me tomorrow, forget me never, please. _ ” Sehun’s words were a plea that Junmyeon had been silently saying at night for the last month they had together. He had been silently saying that since the moment he met Sehun. 

  
  


Junmyeon trusted him, and tonight was yesterday and today is tomorrow, and today, Sehun is leaving. 

 

Warm lips that had the faint lingering taste of tea captured his, kissing him like he was the oxygen they needed to continue living. Softly, desperately, hungirly; saying all the things that neither of them could put into words, so it was just best to let their actions do the talking. They were begging for one another to remember the other, to never forget this moment, because in the moment they were no longer just Sehun and Junmyeon, but so much more than that and this was so much more than a summer romance; it was a once in a lifetime thing and neither of them would ever get over their first love, or how it ripped them apart at the seams slowly but surely, leaving them begging for one another on their deathbeds although it had been fifty-six years since they said their goodbye’s at the train station. 

 

They were written in the stars, destined,  if there was such a thing, which Junmyeon believed there had to be; this wasn’t something that just happened by chance. You simply did not fall in love in the span of three months, and know in your soul and entire being that this person was meant for you - with the tragedies of fate giving you a taste of what could have been, for you had not been written in the stars apart from one another.

 

-

 

_ Golden sunlight warmed their skin through the tree branches above, walking through the small park near Junmyeon’s family’s home. It had been two weeks since Sehun arrived, and if Junmyeon was honest, the guy wasn’t as bad as he first initially thought he was. And that was based off looks alone, bad right? He couldn’t help but judge by first glance, everyone had the nasty habit of doing it. At least he was honesty about it, he thought. Sehun just naturally had this disinterested and distant look to his sharp and pointed features. It didn’t help that Sehun wasn’t much of a talker, but rather opting to listen for the most part at dinners. Overall, he wasn’t entirely just that. He was so much more, and without realizing so, Junmyeon made it his mission to learn what made Sehun tick, things that other’s may not know, what goes on inside his mind and how he sees the world.  _

 

_ “You know, it is quite sad that Vincent Van Gogh created such beautiful art, but was so deeply tormented by his own thoughts.” Sehun spoke into the air, looking over his shoulder at him. He had the tendency to speak whatever though that crossed his mind, no matter what is going on.  _

 

_ “Yeah, it is. But, what made you think of that?” Junmyeon asked curiously, his hands out at his sides and brushing over the waist high grass that grew along the dirt path. Summer was beautiful, his favorite season; everything was lively, basking in the sunlight and thriving. Plants, the world as a whole, them.  _

  
  


_ Sehun laughed quietly, and Junmyeon smiled subconsciously. “I was thinking about how no matter what anyone does, there’s this one thing we do without knowing or realizing yet, that we are doing it to hide how we really feel towards whatever is influencing us in the first place.” Junmyeon was confused by Sehun, and it showed on his features with the way Sehun laughed again before continuing. “Let’s say that you, Junmyeon, are a writer, and you are working on a piece about someone who had fallen in love, and it’s earth shattering. Heartbreaking, stomach sinking, body aching. And you’re doing it because you have either already experienced that, or currently are but you can’t really speak up about it, so you turn to writing about it instead.” _

 

_ Finally understanding what Sehun was saying, Junmyeon laughed; nodding his head. Sehun was a colorful person, despite his firm exterior.  “So, basically I am ghost writing something as a coping mechanism?” he mused.  _

 

_ “That’s exactly what I am saying, and it’s kind of sad, you know? And it makes me wonder what everyone’s mechanism is.” and so they went on talking about the various forms of issues and mechanisms, and how it was a chain of reaction life itself; even going as far as to joke about what theirs were.  _

 

-

_ Smoke hung in the air, thick and filling his nostrils. If he hadn’t been blissfully intoxicated, Junmyeon would have been complaining about the heady scent of the sweet nicotine in the air of the bar, and how it made him feel lightheaded. He couldn’t find a reason to complain, when Sehun was grabbing him by his waist and guiding him to dance to whatever pop song they were playing over the speakers. Naturally, his hands moved up the taller male’s chest and slid behind his neck, moving his body to the music. He was thankful the bar had was mostly dark with the exception of the neon lights, that poorly lit the place. Leaving him in his own head, in his own world with Sehun who was just as equally intoxicated and taking advantaged it of the liquid courage.  _

_ Tension was steadily building thick between them in prior days. Lingering gazes from across the room when one entered or left, testing their limits with each other’s patients. Junmyeon was willing to push the limits further, to overstep the thin line between letting things happen as they will or putting his front in the door to make sure it happened or was shot right down. He was willing to deal with the consequences and the aftermath - he just couldn’t live without trying, for to do that would be creating regret and he wanted to live without regret because regret hurt more and would break a human even more. He dared.  _

 

_ Messily, but desperately, Junmyeon kissed Sehun. Threading his fingers in the younger male’s hair and pulling his lips down to his, he kissed him hard and putting all that he wished he could say, if he knew he wouldn’t mess up it up, into the kiss. It was a welcoming feeling when the kiss was returned, and with much lust and want; large hands gripping his hips and keeping him close. There was a hunger in the kiss that was brand new to Junmyeon, stoking the ember fire that sat dormant in his chest and belly for so long until meeting Sehun; his heart behind his ribs beating wildly, like a frightened animal wanting to escape. Selfishly, he wished to stay in that moment, to have Sehun blissfully vulnerable and true to himself, entirely to himself. _

 

_ Two month’s, and Sehun has already claimed him as his without realizing so. Junmyeon think’s he knows, but just doesn’t want to admit to the fact that he just as well has had his own soul marked by the older. It would simply and plainly, be setting yourself up for inevitable world shattering heartbreak. _

 

-

 

_ “A week, Joon.”  _

 

_ Sehun hadn’t needed to remind Junmyeon of how much longer they had left together. He didn’t need to remind him that this would all over be over soon. Just as quick as whatever this was had started, it was ending. Just like that, over. Junmyeon didn’t need the reminder, because he was counting down the days in his head until it got dangerously close to their parting, to try to come up with a way to make Sehun stay. It was a childish thing to do, yes, but he didn’t have the guts to ask Sehun to stay; he didn’t want to seem pathetic, because that’s how he saw it. He was pathetically in love with a man he had only known three months. How could he ask him to stay?  _

 

_ “I know.”  _

 

_ His gloomy thoughts were positively showing in his responses and actions throughout the leading week, mostly when nightfall came and they were in bed wrapped up in each other’s embrace; muttering sleepily into the darkness, baring themselves and opening up about everything. From small talk about the stars and fate, destiny, the universe, to their summer and how they fell so deeply into one another that it seemed like they were each other. They didn’t know where one ended, and the other began; blinded and surrounded by a love that was bigger than them combined.  _

 

_ Sehun would try his best to hide how he felt, trying for Junmyeon’s sake to keep a strong and firm composure. Junmyeon knew this, and although he wished it helped, it didn’t. In matter of fact, it made him feel worse; because Sehun was hiding how he felt. Albeit, not doing a good job at it, because Junmyeon saw right through it. He heard his soft whispers at night when when he though Junmyeon was fast asleep, absentmindedly running his fingers through the older males’ hair. He saw how he was himself during the day, and how the bright lights behind Sehun’s eyes dim as soon as dusk began to set in; as if remembering their fate. Junmyeon noticed it all. He notices it then, in Sehun’s words. He dared to look up, mustering the best smile he could to reassure the other that he loved him no matter what, that this wasn’t truly the end. Now he was the one holding onto the hope it wasn’t truly the end. _

 

-

 

“ _ Stay _ .”

 

his voice was almost unrecognizable, even to himself as he whispered. His eyes were burning, from a mixture of his lack of sleep, and hot tears. His chest ached, feeling as though it was caving in. He thought he might break. It hurt. Everything hurt, and everything felt wrong. The sun was beginning to rise, the pale moonlight turning to a shade of lavender with the orange morning sun hitting the horizon; trading the darkness of the room, for a delicate glow. He was going to break. He wasn’t asking Sehun to stay, he was  _ pleading  _ for him to stay. 

 

He always expected that his first heartbreak would hurt. He even expected his first love to hurt. He just never expected for it to make you feel like you were dying. Because that is how he felt in the moment, like he was dying. 

 

Sucking in a silent but shaky breath, he screwed his eyes shut tight to prevent the tears from falling; turning his head and hiding his face against Sehun’s neck, but they fell all the same. He held on a little tighter to Sehun’s arm, pressing himself closer to the warm body. Feeling Sehun’s arms wrap around him tighter, pulling him in as close as he could without being directly on top of him, only made him cry more; a soft breath leaving his lips, strangled in his throat. 

 

The fire in his chest that Sehun stoked and restarted again had spread, filling his mind with smoke and sending his wild heart into a frantic search of an exit. This was his last chance to toe that thin line he dared all those short weeks ago, baring himself completely and finally. 

 

“ **_Stay_ ** .”

**Author's Note:**

> summer lovin' happen so faaast.. where did he (sehun) come from? where did he go? idk, i'm too tired to come up with a good enough back story so i'm going to leave that up to your imagination! 
> 
> i'm a little rusty because i haven't been writing, so i am afraid this might be a terribly written thing. idk. if this is liked or whatever, i might consider writing a second part from sehun's pov but idk if it's good enough for that lmao, i hope you enjoy!!


End file.
